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Secure Pathways™

The Roadmap to Relationships

Connecting Attachment, Faith, and the Enneagram.

Family having fun
Mother and Daughter
Father and Son

Welcome to Secure Pathways™

Are you experiencing struggles in your parenting journey?

You love your kids and want to improve your connection with them but find yourself feeling frustrated or inadequate or disappointed in parenting.

If you are looking for attachment-based, Enneagram-informed parenting support, Secure Pathways™ is here to help!

Dr. Cunningham has a passion for helping families improve their relationships and is glad you are here!

Upset daughter with mother

You are in the right place if you have ever wondered…

  • Why is parenting so hard? Is there an easier way?
  • Do my children know how much I love them because it feels like many of my interactions with them seem to backfire or push them away?
  • How do I speak in a way that my kids will understand or hear me?
  • Why do I get so upset (angry, frustrated, anxious, or ashamed) in certain situations with my children?
  • How do I undo the negative pattern that has developed between myself and my child or teen?
  • What do my kids really need?

As parents, no one is perfect, but your kids don’t need you to be…

Parents just need to be “good enough” so that your children can develop a secure attachment with you. You need to have grace for yourself and for your children. And you need to have a roadmap to better connect. Welcome to Secure Pathways™, where the journey together begins with support and direction to improve the effectiveness of your parenting and your ability to connect.

Our Mission

Secure Pathways™ provides direction for parents to increase their self-awareness and their understanding of their children in order to develop a more secure attachment (improve their relationship) with their children by using the Enneagram and attachment science in the context of faith.

Our Approach

Secure attachment with children starts with a secure parent.

Effective and Practical

Secure Pathways™ is an individualized coaching service that helps you connect better to yourself, your faith, and your family relationships. This coaching provides a roadmap for self-awareness, spiritual growth, and secure attachment by utilizing the Enneagram and Circle of Security® attachment model. Discover your Enneagram type and how your unique attributes and experiences influence how you interact in the world. When you are secure in who you are in the Lord, then you are able to be the parent your children need. Being able to understand and meet your children’s needs creates secure attachment with them.

When you are secure in who you are in the Lord and are aware of and reflect on your personality tendencies, then you are able to be the parent your children need. Combining an understanding of attachment with knowledge about your Enneagram type allows you to be more attuned to your children and to meet their needs in a way that leads to improved family dynamics. Being able to understand and be more attentive to your children’s underlying relational and emotional needs, being able to support their exploration, and being able to appropriately take charge creates secure attachment with them. This results in more positive outcomes for children now and down the road.

Enneagram​

The Enneagram is a personality system with nine different personality types that explains why people act, think, and feel the way they do. It is not merely a description of a person’s behavior but gets to the deeper motivations behind their actions. Although there are nine primary types, there are many aspects to the Enneagram that allow for nuances and variations within each Enneagram type so everyone has an unique expression of their personality. Explore how your unique attributes and experiences influence how you interact in the world. It takes self-reflection to gain a deeper understanding of your motivations, emotions, and behavior. The Enneagram is useful to better understand yourself and how to relate to other people who see and experience the world differently. Knowing your type can help pinpoint strengths and struggles, as well as provide direction for growth and indicators of stress.

enneagram-graphic
Father and daughter

Attachment / Parenting

Attachment is the quality of the relationship between a parent and a child. This pattern of connection between parent and child develops over time and is often referred to as a “bond.” Secure attachment is the child’s belief that their parent will be there for them when they need it. This understanding of attachment originated from John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth’s work and research. Secure attachment is based on the degree to which the parent provides predictable emotional attunement when the child needs to connect and provides predictable, non-intrusive support when the child needs to explore or play. Attachment is the reliability of the parent to be in charge, to know when and how the child needs connection and comfort, and to know when and how to support the child’s need to build competence and independence. The Circle of Security® is a user-friendly, research-backed model of attachment that will help parents clarify what their child needs and how to be responsive to those needs.

Using the Enneagram and the Circle of Security® Parenting model to pinpoint strengths and struggles in parenting can provide individualized direction for helping parents develop more secure attachments with their children (and other significant relationships).

Faith-Based Coaching

The Enneagram is useful for transformation, not just information. Each of the nine types represents an important aspect of God’s character that can be developed in each type. The Enneagram itself brings knowledge about your personality but the grace of the gospel is what enables true clarity and change. “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Hebrews 4:16) and so that we may be “transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory” (2 Corinthians 3:18). By inviting the Holy Spirit into this process of self-awareness, the Lord can reveal areas for each person that may need to be examined and that can free you to be honest with yourself and with others.

For parents that are not Christians or are not interested in a faith-based approach, you can think about your primary adult relationship as the place to establish your secure attachment. These services can be delivered without the faith component, if you prefer.

faith-cross
“I [God] will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.”
Psalm 32:8

Behind the Practice

A Look at Dr. Cunningham

Dr. Jera Nelson Cunningham has 20 years of experience as a clinical psychologist working with families. She specializes in trauma and attachment and provides therapy, parenting intervention, psychological testing, and attachment evaluations in her clinical practice. Over the course of her career, she has worked in community mental health, inpatient settings, and private practice. She started Secure Pathways™ after she became a certified Enneagram coach as a way to combine her clinical experience and faith while utilizing her Type 3 strengths. Combining her passion for families and faith is an ideal way to integrate two important aspects of her life in a way that benefits others.

Jera is a Certified Circle of Security® Parenting Facilitator through the Circle of Security International™. She is a Certified Enneagram Coach through Your Enneagram Coach and Simply Wholehearted.

Jera is a wife and mother of two teenagers. She and her husband spend a lot of time watching their boys play lacrosse. She enjoys photography, scrapbooking, spending time at the lake or beach, planning the family’s next vacation, and going for walks.

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COSP_logo_closed_green - to be used by certified COSP Facilitators, can include on website
Contact Dr. Cunningham

Discovery Call

Not sure if you are ready to move forward or have questions? I would love to speak to you! This Discovery Call is 15 minutes to answer any questions and see if it's a good fit. I'm currently taking Discovery Calls every week on Wednesdays at 11:45am EST. If this time slot does not work for you, please contact me and I will schedule for another time that works best. I look forward to chatting with you!

Our Services

What We Offer

In addition to the primary service that Secure Pathways™ provides, which is faith-based Enneagram coaching for parents with a focus on improving secure attachment with their children, there are several services available to help put all those pieces in place.

Clients may also choose non-faith-based coaching for any of the services.

Please note that these are coaching services, not mental health counseling or therapy.

Please email Dr. Cunningham directly if there is a related service in which you are interested, such as pre-marital or couples Enneagram coaching, small group coaching, or group presentations.

10% of the profits from Secure Pathways will be donated to a charity or non-profit organization.

Are you a current client?

Please click this button to schedule a one-off session in the portal.
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Testimonials

What clients are saying...

Jera is an attentive listener and thoughtful question-asker.

I felt heard and understood. In spite of my uncertainty about my Enneagram type, she gently guided me through the process of understanding myself and my motivations. I appreciate that her insight about me and my family were filtered through a Christ-centered lens. Learning more about who I am and how I am wired has been invaluable as I learn to lean into my giftings and leverage my weaknesses so that in the end, I can love others more and glorify my Creator.

I am thankful for the opportunity that I had to work with Jera!

Chitra, Type 4

Wife, Mom, and Professional Organizer

I was stuck. It felt like I was drowning in challenges related to relationships, roles, and general life situations. This was uncharted territory for me and I didn’t know how to get things back on track.

Jera helped to break down the internal and external dynamics by exploring how my enneagram type filters my understanding of reality. She helped me to recognize that in my state of depletion, I was not able to offer my best to myself, God, or those I love.

During each session we spent time sifting and sorting through different elements, using the enneagram as a framework. Jera offered practical and helpful suggestions for action and insightful questions that prompted me to consider things in a constructive way. She gently challenged the unhelpful, unrealistic, and false ideas that contributed to my feeling stuck, and offered consistent and truthful reminders of who God created me to be.

Working with Jera has been a gift! This investment has led to new awareness, a sense of peace, and is resulting in more satisfying experiences and relationships.

Emilie, Type 6

Wife, Mom, and Community Volunteer

Jera is an attentive listener and thoughtful question-asker.

I felt heard and understood. In spite of my uncertainty about my Enneagram type, she gently guided me through the process of understanding myself and my motivations. I appreciate that her insight about me and my family were filtered through a Christ-centered lens. Learning more about who I am and how I am wired has been invaluable as I learn to lean into my giftings and leverage my weaknesses so that in the end, I can love others more and glorify my Creator.

I am thankful for the opportunity that I had to work with Jera!

Jera is an attentive listener and thoughtful question-asker.

I felt heard and understood. In spite of my uncertainty about my Enneagram type, she gently guided me through the process of understanding myself and my motivations. I appreciate that her insight about me and my family were filtered through a Christ-centered lens. Learning more about who I am and how I am wired has been invaluable as I learn to lean into my giftings and leverage my weaknesses so that in the end, I can love others more and glorify my Creator.

I am thankful for the opportunity that I had to work with Jera!

Chitra, Type 4

Wife, Mom, and Professional Organizer

I was stuck. It felt like I was drowning in challenges related to relationships, roles, and general life situations. This was uncharted territory for me and I didn’t know how to get things back on track.

Jera helped to break down the internal and external dynamics by exploring how my enneagram type filters my understanding of reality. She helped me to recognize that in my state of depletion, I was not able to offer my best to myself, God, or those I love.

During each session we spent time sifting and sorting through different elements, using the enneagram as a framework. Jera offered practical and helpful suggestions for action and insightful questions that prompted me to consider things in a constructive way. She gently challenged the unhelpful, unrealistic, and false ideas that contributed to my feeling stuck, and offered consistent and truthful reminders of who God created me to be.

Working with Jera has been a gift! This investment has led to new awareness, a sense of peace, and is resulting in more satisfying experiences and relationships.

I was stuck. It felt like I was drowning in challenges related to relationships, roles, and general life situations. This was uncharted territory for me and I didn’t know how to get things back on track.

Jera helped to break down the internal and external dynamics by exploring how my enneagram type filters my understanding of reality. She helped me to recognize that in my state of depletion, I was not able to offer my best to myself, God, or those I love.

During each session we spent time sifting and sorting through different elements, using the enneagram as a framework. Jera offered practical and helpful suggestions for action and insightful questions that prompted me to consider things in a constructive way. She gently challenged the unhelpful, unrealistic, and false ideas that contributed to my feeling stuck, and offered consistent and truthful reminders of who God created me to be.

Working with Jera has been a gift! This investment has led to new awareness, a sense of peace, and is resulting in more satisfying experiences and relationships.

Emilie, Type 6

Wife, Mom, and Community Volunteer

    I was stuck. It felt like I was drowning in challenges related to relationships, roles, and general life situations. This was uncharted territory for me and I didn’t know how to get things back on track.

    Jera helped to break down the internal and external dynamics by exploring how my enneagram type filters my understanding of reality. She helped me to recognize that in my state of depletion, I was not able to offer my best to myself, God, or those I love.

    During each session we spent time sifting and sorting through different elements, using the enneagram as a framework. Jera offered practical and helpful suggestions for action and insightful questions that prompted me to consider things in a constructive way. She gently challenged the unhelpful, unrealistic, and false ideas that contributed to my feeling stuck, and offered consistent and truthful reminders of who God created me to be.

    Working with Jera has been a gift! This investment has led to new awareness, a sense of peace, and is resulting in more satisfying experiences and relationships.

    I was stuck. It felt like I was drowning in challenges related to relationships, roles, and general life situations. This was uncharted territory for me and I didn’t know how to get things back on track.

    Jera helped to break down the internal and external dynamics by exploring how my enneagram type filters my understanding of reality. She helped me to recognize that in my state of depletion, I was not able to offer my best to myself, God, or those I love.

    During each session we spent time sifting and sorting through different elements, using the enneagram as a framework. Jera offered practical and helpful suggestions for action and insightful questions that prompted me to consider things in a constructive way. She gently challenged the unhelpful, unrealistic, and false ideas that contributed to my feeling stuck, and offered consistent and truthful reminders of who God created me to be.

    Working with Jera has been a gift! This investment has led to new awareness, a sense of peace, and is resulting in more satisfying experiences and relationships.

    Emilie, Type 6

    Wife, Mom, and Community Volunteer

    Jera is an attentive listener and thoughtful question-asker.

    I felt heard and understood. In spite of my uncertainty about my Enneagram type, she gently guided me through the process of understanding myself and my motivations. I appreciate that her insight about me and my family were filtered through a Christ-centered lens. Learning more about who I am and how I am wired has been invaluable as I learn to lean into my giftings and leverage my weaknesses so that in the end, I can love others more and glorify my Creator.

    I am thankful for the opportunity that I had to work with Jera!

    Jera is an attentive listener and thoughtful question-asker.

    I felt heard and understood. In spite of my uncertainty about my Enneagram type, she gently guided me through the process of understanding myself and my motivations. I appreciate that her insight about me and my family were filtered through a Christ-centered lens. Learning more about who I am and how I am wired has been invaluable as I learn to lean into my giftings and leverage my weaknesses so that in the end, I can love others more and glorify my Creator.

    I am thankful for the opportunity that I had to work with Jera!

    Chitra, Type 4

    Wife, Mom, and Professional Organizer

News and Information

Recent Blog Posts

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Resources

Helpful Info

For those of you who are interested in learning more about the Enneagram, Attachment, or Faith-based concepts mentioned on this website or referenced in coaching with Dr. Cunnigham, the following resources may be of interest. Some resources may be more technical or in-depth whereas others are intended more for general interest or written for laypersons.

Get In Touch!

Frequently Asked Questions

Have you wondered?

Here are some answers to commony asked questions. If you have a question that isn't coved in this section, please contact me.

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  • What if I don’t know my Enneagram type?

    If you are not very familiar with the Enneagram, then starting with a Typing Session would be a good way to help you figure out your type. It can be helpful to take an Enneagram test first to help pinpoint which types to explore further.

    There are free and fee-based Enneagram tests that you can take to help you narrow down your type (see Resources section for links to tests), but test results may not necessarily identify your primary personality type. For some people, the tests are spot-on and for others, it provides a starting point to work through several types. There are some good books that can also provide more detailed descriptions of your type. (See the Resources section for book suggestions and links.) My recommendation is to start with The Road Back To You by Ian Cron and Suzanne Stabile. Learning more about the Enneagram can be done by reading and listening to podcasts where people are talking about what it is like to be a particular type.

    If you are interested in one of the packages, it is helpful to have a good idea of your top type or top two types because the content of those sessions is based on your Enneagram type. It may be helpful to do one (or more if needed) Typing Sessions first if you are uncertain of your Enneagram Type before starting a coaching package.

    Please message me directly if you have questions about your type and which service(s) would fit your situation best.

  • What if I took an Enneagram test and don’t agree with the type?

    This is very common. Tests often ask about outward behaviors and the Enneagram is really about underlying motivations that can be hard to assess with a test. In addition, people often attribute a variety of reasons why they do things but the Enneagram hones in on one primary motivation for each type. This may mean people need to sort through several personality types to get to the heart of why they act the way they do. The Enneagram is complicated. Tests often help people narrow down to a few types that need to be explored in more detail and with some thought-provoking questions that focus on the person they were while growing up and as a young adult. If you think a test has mistyped you, I would encourage you to explore the Enneagram on your own (go to Resource section for suggestions) or sign up for a Typing Session, which may be very helpful in guiding you in the appropriate direction.

  • Why are your coaching packages set up for twice a month—why not weekly?

    By having sessions every other week, it provides enough time for you to process what you are learning and also to practice the skills we highlight, especially for the parenting sessions. The best learning is a combination of knowledge and practice and then reflecting on the experience. Two weeks allows enough time for application and reflection.

    If I have availability and you strongly prefer weekly sessions or feel some urgency to make changes more quickly, sessions may be able to be scheduled weekly. It would be important for you to set aside adequate time each week to reflect and process outside of our sessions what you have been learning and experiencing. Please reach out to me directly if you would like to discuss the frequency of coaching sessions.

  • Why do you focus on a Christian perspective?

    The most change can happen when you are able to acknowledge your weaknesses, hurts, and difficult thoughts and feelings. I believe that knowing and experiencing Jesus’ love and forgiveness and grace provides a safe space to explore those challenging aspects of our personality, relationship patterns, and other aspects of our lives that we tend to avoid.

    I also think that all nine Enneagram types reflect God’s character and each type highlights a different aspects of God. Each Enneagram type is a God-given gift but also points out a primary area of weakness or sin for each type. People can benefit from learning about their Enneagram type without a religious viewpoint, but I believe that ultimately it is the Holy Spirit that brings change and conviction and comfort. I think it is important to acknowledge that without the Christian perspective, I don’t think people benefit as much but do believe it can still be valuable. I want to be honest about what I think is most effective and I would hate to have someone miss out on incorporating faith into the Enneagram if they are willing to approach coaching from that perspective.

    There are decades of solid research on attachment and parenting. The Circle of Security ® attachment model also has strong research support, as well as strong clinical evidence that it is effective. I have worked with many families in a secular clinical setting and have seen significant shifts in family dynamics and improved security in the children. This model, and attachment in general, is not explicitly founded on Christian principles and works with most families. I do believe that the framework and concepts are consistent with Christian values and are Biblical. The attachment framework provides a way for you, as the parent, to develop a secure attachment with the Lord that helps you develop a more secure relationship with your own children.

  • Do you work with couples or both parents together?

    YES, I absolutely welcome spouses to participate together in the Parenting Coaching sessions. It is so helpful for both parents to have the attachment framework and common language to discuss and understand their children and also support each other during challenging parenting moments.

    I will also work with couples for Enneagram coaching. I use an attachment lens when addressing couples’ dynamics. Please note that Enneagram coaching will not be couples counseling or therapy. Contact me directly if you are interested in this, as it may be beneficial to have 90-minute sessions that will require additional cost and special scheduling in my calendar.

  • What impact does my childhood (also referred to as Family of Origin) have on my parenting?

    The primary way we learn about parenting is through how we were parented. This does not mean that if you experienced non-supportive or even hurtful or abusive parenting as a child that your children are doomed. You can parent differently! Often parents are aware of what they do not want to do but may not have a clear idea of what to do in terms of parenting strategies. If this is true for you, you are in the right place. Both the Enneagram and Parenting Coaching sessions will address the parenting you received and the messages you internalized from that experience. This is also where a Christian perspective is so important because God is the perfect parent and can provide the acceptance, kindness, grace, and love that you may have felt were lacking in your own relationship(s) with your parent(s). You can find your security in Jesus in a way that helps you develop a more secure relationship with your own children.

  • Should Christians use the Enneagram? Where did the Enneagram come from?

    There have been books written on this topic. There are podcasts and digital products that delve into the history of the Enneagram and I would direct you there (see Resources section). I will say that some aspects of the Enneagram are ancient, but the concepts have been tweaked and added to over the years. I believe that God can use any tool for his benefit and for His kingdom. The Enneagram is just a tool but it is an extremely useful tool, especially when paired with the gospel. The Enneagram does not contradict the Bible—they actually fit together very well. I know that the Enneagram has done more to strengthen my relationship with the Lord than other tool, but I also want to say that it is God’s grace that brings change and that is most important. I also know there are many other people who have been significantly and positively impacted by using the Enneagram as part of their spiritual growth.

  • Why the Enneagram and not some other personality measure or personality inventory?

    As a clinical psychologist who has done psychological testing for years with children, teens, and adults, I have not found another personality system that has the same usefulness in real life. So many of the other personality tests provide a description of your behavior and categorize people by their behaviors. So often, that is all they are—a description of current behavior. What is so wonderful about the Enneagram is that it provides descriptions of nine personality types but within each of those types there is significant variation. There are layers of things that impact and shape your individual personality and provide flavor to your Enneagram type. The biggest strength of the Enneagram is that it does not provide just a description of your behavior but looks at the motivations for your behavior—why you act and respond the way you do! The Enneagram may seem basic if you consider nine personality types but there are many aspects that provide depth and dimension for each person. The Enneagram is quite complicated if you desire to dig into your type. It provides a variety of ways to learn about yourself, make improvements, understand other people better, and to keep growing. It has indicators of health and stress, so you can recognize when you are operating in the less healthy dimensions of your personality. Then, it provides direction for how to move toward more health. All of that in one tool! Aren’t you curious what you might learn about yourself?

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