Detrimental Devices of the Devil: Is DISCOURAGMENT–Feeling Defeated and Depleted–Derailing Your Parenting?

Discouragement: Focusing on Problems or Struggles Rather Than God

As we continue examining the enemy’s tactics to undermine our relationships with God and our families, one powerful device is discouragement. Discouragement builds as we lose hope or lose sight of what is important. It steals our joy and keeps us fixated on the negative. We lose energy and enthusiasm when we feel discouraged, making it harder to be the parents we long to be.

Two aspects of discouragement that we will examine are:

• Feeling Defeated: The enemy whispers that you are a failure, convincing you to give up and stop trying.
• Feeling Depleted: You are so worn down that you are not truly present or engaged with your children.

A Biblical Example of Discouragement

Jesus had just miraculously fed more than 5,000 people with two fish and five loaves of bread, and His disciples had witnessed the entire event. Afterward, Jesus sent them ahead on a boat while He went to pray alone. Later, He walked on water to meet them. When the disciples saw Him, they were terrified, thinking He was a ghost. Jesus reassured them, and Peter boldly asked to walk on the water to meet Him. Peter did—but the moment he took his eyes off Jesus and focused on the wind and waves, he began to sink.

Like Peter, our courage sinks when we focus on our problems rather than on God. When we dwell on what is not going well, discouragement creeps in and colors our entire outlook. We start to see everything through the lens of failure, exhaustion, and negativity.

How Discouragement Shows Up in Parenting

Discouragement can impact our parenting in profound ways. It drains us of the confidence, patience, and joy we need to nurture our children well.

When We Feel Defeated:

• Avoiding New Challenges – We shy away from difficult parenting tasks because we fear failure. Whether it’s setting boundaries, dealing with behavior issues, or guiding our children spiritually, we may avoid stepping into the hard work.
• Harsh or Critical Words Toward Our Kids – When we feel like failures, we may unintentionally project our frustration onto our children, speaking to them in ways that wound rather than build up.
• Giving Up on Our Kids – If a child’s behavior feels like an ongoing struggle, discouragement may tempt us to disengage, assuming they will never change. We stop offering guidance, encouragement, and correction.

When We Feel Depleted:

• Running on Empty – Parenting requires energy, and when we are depleted, we have little left to give. Play, laughter, and quality time with our kids may fall by the wayside.
• Letting the Kids Run Wild – When we are too exhausted to set boundaries or follow through with discipline, our children may end up lacking the structure they need.
• Focusing on the Negative – Depletion fuels pessimism. We may become overly critical of ourselves and our children, noticing only what is wrong rather than celebrating the good.

Discouragement distorts our perspective, making parenting feel heavier than it truly is. The enemy uses it to convince us that our efforts are in vain, but that is not the truth.

Practical Steps to Overcome Discouragement

If you are feeling beaten down or unsuccessful, it may be time to take inventory of your heart and reset your focus.

When You Feel Defeated:

• Recognize the Lies – The enemy wants you to believe you’re failing, but God has called and equipped you to parent your children.
• Celebrate Small Wins – Shift your focus from what isn’t going well to what is. Did you handle a situation with patience? Did your child show kindness today? Recognize progress, no matter how small.
• Seek God’s Strength – You are not meant to parent in your own power. Surrender your efforts to the Lord and trust Him to guide you.

When You Feel Depleted:

• Prioritize Rest and Renewal – Jesus often withdrew to be with the Father. Give yourself permission to rest, whether through quiet time with God, a short walk, or a moment of stillness.
• Ask for Help – You do not have to parent alone. Lean on your spouse, family, friends, or community for support.
• Refill Your Tank with Joy – Engage in something that replenishes your spirit. Listen to worship music, laugh with your kids, or savor a simple moment of gratitude or your favorite food.

Encouragement for When You Feel Beaten Down

Hannah in the Old Testament knew deep discouragement. She was ridiculed for being childless, to the point where she stopped eating and was consumed with sorrow. Yet, in her distress, she poured out her soul to the Lord. She didn’t bottle up her emotions or let despair take over—she brought her pain to God. And in His perfect timing, He answered her prayers.

When discouragement creeps in, follow Hannah’s example. Bring your burdens before the Lord, knowing that He sees, hears, and cares for you.

Questions to ponder:

When you feel depleted, how do you react to those around you?

In what aspects of your life do you feel like a failure, and how does that keep you from living in God’s abundance?

How does discouragement derail your parenting?

You Are Not Alone

If you are struggling with discouragement in parenting, I would love to support you. Let’s chat! Jump on a 15-minute FREE Connection Call to explore how Attachment-Focused Parenting and Enneagram Coaching can bring hope and clarity to your family.

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