Overview:
Parenting is tough, and the enemy knows it. One of his most destructive tactics is distraction and it can be subtle. Distraction keeps us disconnected—from our families, ourselves, and God. Today, let’s explore how distraction, especially through detours and diversions, can derail our parenting and how we can counteract it with faith.
This isn’t about guilt or shame. It’s about awareness and encouragement. My hope is to gently guide you toward choices that help you flourish as a parent while strengthening your relationship with God and your children.
Distraction: Focusing on Lesser Things
Distraction pulls our attention away from God and His plans for us. Distraction keeps us from seeing His truth and from truly seeing children and ourselves. It may mean hopping between tasks, dwelling on negative thoughts, or seeking validation outside of God’s love. It can be fleeting or long-lasting, showing up in many forms:
- Detours
- Diversion
- Division
- Deception
- Distress
- Dread
- Destruction
- Determination
Paths That Lead to Distraction:
Diversion: Focusing on what seems desirable but actually are inferior things.
Detour: Slowly veering off course without realizing it.
These tactics often work together, pulling us away from our goals as parents and believers. Diversion often involves our thoughts and may be more internal. Detours frequently involve our actions and tend to be more visible to others. Recognizing distractions is the first step toward reconnecting with Him and building healthier relationships with our children.
Biblical Example:
King David, described as “a man after God’s own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14), was not immune to distraction. King David’s story highlights how diversion and detour can derail us. When he saw the beautiful Bathsheba, his attention drifted from God and from his kingly duties. His attention and desire was diverted to Bathsheba, despite her being married to one of his best warriors. This led to a series of detours: using his influence to commit adultery, covering up his actions, orchestrating her husband’s death, and then marrying her. It wasn’t until God sent the prophet Nathan to confront David that he admitted his sinful distractions and repented. While God forgave him, David still faced the consequences of his actions. This story reminds us that distractions can lead us to harmful paths, but God’s grace is always available to restore us.
How Distraction Shows Up in Parenting
Distractions can look harmless but often lead us away from what truly matters. Distractions can involve good things that consume too much of our time or energy. Here are common ways they appear:
1. Chasing Immediate Comfort
- Turning to food, social media, or hobbies for relief instead of God.
- Seeking validation from likes or approval instead of trusting God’s love and acceptance.
- Allowing research of parenting strategies or treatments to become all-consuming because you are looking for a quick solution without seeking God’s guidance.
- Venting to friends for instant approval instead of focusing on God’s love or without considering your role in the problem.
2. Getting Lost in the Daily Grind
- Feeling too busy to spend time with God.
- Tuning out your family due to overwhelming emotions, stress, or exhaustion.
- Ignoring children’s needs to focus on chores or personal tasks.
3. Avoiding Reality
- Escaping into shopping, drinking, or endless scrolling.
- Dwelling on the past or wishing for an easier time.
- Avoiding disagreements with your spouse about parenting.
4. Losing Sight of Priorities
- Putting tasks, careers, volunteer activities, or appearances above family or faith.
- Becoming consumed by parenting ideals instead of trusting God’s guidance.
- Focusing on personal goals, like losing weight or landscaping the yard, over relational needs.
5. Focusing on Negatives
- Overanalyzing your child’s struggles or your own failures.
- Letting guilt, anger, or resentment affect your interactions.
- Blaming others for problems or poor interactions.
Encouragement for When You’re Distracted
Distractions happen to everyone. The key is to refocus when you notice them. Jesus’ visit to Mary and Martha invites us to set aside distractions to draw near to Him. He tells hard-working Martha to prioritize time with Him over worldly concerns (Luke 10:38-42). There are tasks that need to be done, but there are also opportunities to set aside work to embrace faith and family. Jesus offers abundant life when we focus on Him (John 10:10), so let’s pay attention and be intentional with how we spend our time.
Practical Steps to Overcome Distraction
1. Pause and Reflect on Your Thoughts and Feelings
- Journal your thoughts, feelings, and daily activities to identify distractions.
- Log your time to see where your focus actually is.
2. See Through Your Child’s Eyes
- Ask: Does my child feel they are a priority? What do they think is most important to me?
- Consider how much time you spend with your children focused fully on them.
3. Seek Support
- Talk with a mentor, friend, or spouse about your struggles. They can help you find balance and prioritize what matters most.
4. Memorize Scripture
- Keep verses visible to remind you of God’s presence and love. Some ideas:
- “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus…so that you will not grow weary and lose heart” (Hebrews 12:2-3, NIV, 1984).
- “The mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace” (Romans 8:6 NIV).
- “Come near to God, and He will come near to you” (James 4:8 NIV).
- “May your unfailing love be my comfort” (Psalm 119:76 NIV).
5. Pray Honestly
- Share your distractions with God and ask for guidance.
- Ask Him to reveal areas where you struggle and to help you trust Him and refocus on what matters.
6. Schedule What Matters
- Commit to spending time with God, your children, and your spouse. Stick to those commitments.
- Leave some time for self-care. Not necessarily to indulge yourself, but things that restore your energy, focus, and joy.
7. Simplify Your Priorities
- Focus on a few key things each day. Put sticky notes around that remind you of the key things for that day.
- Let go of perfection and trust God to handle the rest.
Questions to ponder:
What distracts you from what is truly important?
How does the enemy use distractions in your life to get you to focus on “lesser” things?
What makes you lose sight of God and His love for you?
What helps you stay focused on God? How can you refocus on God and your family?
Let’s give ourselves grace as we navigate distractions and trust God to guide us back on course.
If you found this blog to be helpful or interesting, please consider joining my weekly newsletter.
*The Holy Bible, New International Version (NIV). (2011). Biblica, Inc. (Original work published in 1978.)
*The Holy Bible, New International Version (NIV). (1984). International Bible Society. (Original work published in 1973.)
**This blog was inspired by the Life Application® Bible, NIV (1991). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Wheaton, IL. that listed “Satan’s Plan” as “Doubt, Discouragement, Diversion, Defeat, and Delay” (pg. 13) and was expanded and applied to parenting by this author.