Overview – Distraction
This series examines tactics the enemy uses to undermine our relationships with God and our families, hindering us from being the parents we’re called to be, the parents our children need. After looking doubt, we are now exploring different paths that lead to distraction. Distraction pulls our focus away from God’s truth and His plans, redirecting us to misplaced priorities—whether internal or external. Our attention is on lesser things.
It is easy to get distracted when we don’t know what to believe or who to trust. Social media and the internet are full of contradictory claims and opposing ideas and opinions. It can be challenging to know what is real and what is fake. Some people seem to have hidden, ulterior motives. This holds true not just for politics and the public sector but also in churches and with parenting advice. What a perfect environment for the devil to exploit our uncertainty, keeping us absorbed in debate or scouring various sources of information for truth.
My aim is not to induce guilt but to offer encouragement and awareness, guiding you toward choices that help you flourish as a parent and strengthen your relationship with God and your children.
Distraction keeps us disconnected—from our families, ourselves, and God. Let’s look at how division and deception can derail our parenting.
Paths That Lead to Distraction
Division: Conflicts or disunity that fracture relationships and communities.
Division occurs when we focus on blame or on the negative qualities of others. This can lead to conflicts that erode family bonds and community ties.
Biblical Example of Division:
After Jacob deceitfully received the family blessing meant for his older brother, Esau, he fled to another country. There, he fell in love with Rachel but was deceived into marrying her older sister, Leah. This led to a deeply fractured family dynamic, filled with jealousy, favoritism, and competition. Leah and Rachel competed for Jacob’s love and status through childbearing, and their actions ultimately created division among their children. This rivalry culminated in Joseph’s older brothers selling him into slavery out of jealousy. The seeds of division planted in one generation bore destructive fruit in the next. Let’s not follow this example!
How Division Shows Up in Parenting
- Sibling Rivalry: Favoritism, even if unintentional, can create jealousy and resentment between siblings, echoing the story of Jacob’s family.
- Parental Conflict: Differences in parenting styles, unresolved marital tension, or blame-shifting can divide parents and weaken the family unit.
- Judgmental Communities: Differences in parenting choices (e.g., discipline, education, or screen time) can lead to judgment or isolation in communities, including churches.
Practical Steps to Address Division
1. Focus on Unity in the Family: Encourage teamwork by creating shared goals. For example, involve siblings in collaborative projects like preparing a meal together or participating in community service. If you are married, show a united parenting front to your children.
2. Conflict Resolution: Model healthy conflict resolution by directing and kindly addressing conflict in your home, with your neighbors, or in your community. Teach your children to express their feelings respectfully, apologize sincerely, and forgive generously.
3. Build Emotional Bridges: Spend one-on-one time with each child to foster a sense of individual value and belonging.
4. Teach Respect for Differences:
- Model and Practice Empathy: Encourage children to see things from another’s perspective. Use real-life examples or stories to discuss how others might feel or think differently based on their experiences. Ask questions like, “How do you think they might feel about this?” or “Why might they see it that way?”
- Expose Them to Diversity: Provide opportunities to interact with people from different backgrounds, cultures, and beliefs through books, community events, or friendships. Highlight that diversity reflects God’s creativity and is something to celebrate.
- Teach Respectful Communication: Equip children with phrases for civil discussions, such as, “I see it differently, but I respect your opinion,” or “Can you help me understand your perspective?”
- Focus on Shared Values: Emphasize common values like kindness, fairness, and honesty that unite people despite differing views.
Deception: When the truth is hidden, unclear, or replaced with lies.
Deception can distort our understanding of ourselves, our children, and God. When we believe lies, it undermines our ability to parent effectively.
Biblical Example of Deception:
In Genesis 3, the serpent deceived Eve by questioning God’s truth. He convinced her to focus on the benefits of eating the forbidden fruit—becoming like God and gaining wisdom—while downplaying the consequences. Although Adam and Eve didn’t die instantly, their disobedience brought separation from God and devastating consequences for humanity. Deception can lead us to unhealthy interactions or situations.
How Deception Shows Up in Parenting
- Parental Self-Doubt: Believing lies like “I’m not a good parent” or “I’ll never get this right” can sap confidence and create a cycle of insecurity.
- False Priorities: Parents may buy into the cultural narrative that success is measured by children’s achievements, leading to an overemphasis on performance rather than connection. There can also be pressure to appear perfect or admirable that is not a true reflection of your children or family or that exaggerates some positive trait in a misleading way that keeps you focused on only showing the best side of your family.
- Misperceptions About Children: Believing labels like “They’re just difficult” or “They’ll never change” or “They are manipulative” can cause parents to focus on challenges instead of growth.
Practical Steps to Counter Deception
- Anchor in Truth: Regularly remind yourself and your children of God’s truth through scripture. For example, Ephesians 2:10 counters self-doubt: “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works.”
- Discern Reliable Sources: Teach critical thinking about advice, media, and cultural messages. Encourage questions like, “Does this align with God’s Word? Does it reflect love and truth?” Pray and ask God for clarity about what is true and what is not. Talk with those close to you whom you trust. Consult with a pastor or spiritual director or coach.
- Replace Lies with Affirmation: When you identify a lie (e.g., “I’m a failure”), replace it with affirmations rooted in God’s promises (e.g., “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” – Philippians 4:13).
Encouragement for When You’re Distracted By Division and Deception
The enemy thrives on lies and division that create distraction. As parents, staying grounded in God’s truth and prioritizing connection can help us overcome these tactics. Through intentional efforts to foster unity, love, and awareness, we can build stronger attachments with our children and a deeper reliance on God’s guidance.
When distractions like division and deception threaten to derail your parenting, remember the power and wisdom you have access to in Christ. Through His Spirit, He offers you revelation and strength beyond measure (Ephesians 1:17-20). You are not navigating this alone. In His grace, He has redeemed you, forgiven you, and lavished His love upon you (Ephesians 1:7-8). Trust in His wisdom to guide you, for His ultimate plan is to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ (Ephesians 1:9-10). Let this assurance anchor your heart and refocus your mind on what truly matters: His love, His truth, and the family He has entrusted to you.
Questions to ponder:
How has the enemy used division to cause problems for you with your children, spouse, or God? How has division distracted you from connection?
What lies might be fueling dissatisfaction or distraction in your parenting?
What lies or conflicts make you lose sight of God and His love for you?
How can you refocus on God and your family?
Let’s be parents who rise above the noise of distraction and focus on what truly matters—our relationship with God and our children.
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*The Holy Bible, New International Version (NIV). (2011). Biblica, Inc. (Original work published in 1978.)
**This blog was inspired by the Life Application® Bible, NIV (1991). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Wheaton, IL. that listed “Satan’s Plan” as “Doubt, Discouragement, Diversion, Defeat, and Delay” (pg. 13) and was expanded and applied to parenting by this author.