Detrimental Devices of the Devil: Is DOUBT Derailing Your Parenting?

Overview:

The enemy uses subtle yet destructive schemes to derail our parenting, leaving us disconnected from our families, ourselves, and God. In this series, we’ll examine five categories of these tactics, starting with doubt. (Not all of these responses are necessarily harmful but it is important to examine them in our lives to determine if they are detrimental.)

Doubt

Distraction – including detour, diversion, division, deception, distress, dread, destruction, and determined

Discontent – disparage, despise

Discouragement – defeat, despair, depleted, deserted

Discount – delay, dismiss, denial, distancing

Did you notice that almost all the words start with the prefix “de-” or “dis”? These prefixes generally indicate a removal, undoing, reversal, or taking apart or mean the opposite.

Jesus explains in John 10:10 (NIV) that “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Job 1 and 2 describe satan as “the Accuser” who challenges Job’s faith in God by making him miserable. 

It is not surprising that the words to describe the enemy’s schemes are about reversing and undoing what is good. If we believe in Jesus, the enemy cannot take that away, but he can try to take away our joy and connection. Let’s start exploring the ways our parenting can get derailed by the devil and his ploys, so we can be more aware of how we may be unwittingly allowing schemes to undermine our relationship with our children and with God.

Doubt stands alone because it’s foundational to many of the enemy’s schemes. It causes us to question God’s character, promises, and role in our parenting journey. Let’s explore how doubt can creep in—and how to counteract it with faith.

Doubt: Makes us question God

Doubt can make us second-guess God’s goodness, His plan, His wisdom, or even His Word. In parenting, it often shows up as feelings of inadequacy or confusion about why God has allowed certain struggles in our families. Doubt is a normal part of faith and can lead to growth, but it can also harm our relationship with God and undermine our parenting when it is unproductive and not addressed. Trust is an integral part of faith, so places where we struggle to trust are probably key areas to explore when we are thinking about doubt.

Even Abraham and Sarah experienced this. Despite their faith, they doubted God’s promise of a child when the waiting stretched on. They took matters into their own hands by having Sarah’s maidservant have a baby with Abraham, leading to pain and conflict. But God remained faithful, fulfilling His promise in His perfect time. Their story reminds us that our doubt doesn’t derail God’s plans—it simply reveals our need for trust.

How Doubt Shows Up in Parenting

Here are some common ways doubt manifests in our parenting:

1. Doubt About Yourself:

• Am I the right parent for my child? Perhaps you feel mismatched because your child’s personality or needs differ greatly from your own.
• I don’t enjoy playing with my child. You might feel guilty for not being naturally playful or nurturing.
• I’m too lenient (or too strict). Maybe you struggle to find the right balance in discipline.

2. Doubt About God’s Goodness:

• Why does my child struggle so much? Whether it’s developmental challenges, trauma, or ongoing behavior issues, you may wonder if God cares.
• Am I being punished? Perhaps your child’s behavior feels like a reflection of your past mistakes or a test you’re failing.
• This doesn’t feel like a blessing. If parenting feels overwhelming, it’s easy to question why God gave you this role.

3. Doubt About God’s Plan or Wisdom:

• Why am I struggling so much? You might question whether you’re cut out for parenting, especially if it feels harder than you expected.
• Why do my spouse and I clash over parenting? Differing approaches can lead to frustration, making you question what God’s plan for your family actually is.

4. Doubt About God’s Word:

• The Bible says children are a blessing—but this feels like a burden. You may feel guilty for struggling with a role Scripture says is good.
• I raised my child to love Jesus, but they’ve turned away from faith. When your efforts seem to fall short, you may question whether God’s promises about parenting still hold true.

Encouragement for When You Doubt

Doubt is natural, but it doesn’t disqualify you as a parent or a believer. In Mark 9:14-27, a father sought out Jesus to heal his son. The father begged Jesus, “Have mercy on us and help us, if you can.” Jesus asked ‘if I can?’ and then responded with “Anything is possible if a person believes.” The father cried out, “I believe; help my unbelief!” Even with lingering doubts, he chose to seek Jesus—and his faith was rewarded.

A mustard seed of faith (Luke 17:6) is all you need to see God work in your parenting. The key is to be honest about your doubts and bring them to God, trusting Him to meet you in your weakness.

Practical Steps to Overcome Doubt

• Reflect on Your Thoughts and Feelings: Journaling can help you identify where doubt is creeping in. Write about your fears, frustrations, and questions about parenting and God’s role in your family. Becoming more aware of what is going on in your head and heart and body are important.
• Consider Your Child’s Perspective: Ask yourself: How does my child experience me? What might they think or feel based on my tone, words, or actions? Shifting your focus can help you better understand your child and this may lead to more empathy and compassion. Seeing your child’s good intentions can go a long way in improving your relationship and helping them feel more understood.
• Seek Support: Talk to a trusted friend, mentor, or professional about your doubts. They may offer encouragement, wisdom, or practical advice.
• Memorize Scripture: Choose verses that remind you of God’s faithfulness and keep them visible. Some suggestions:
  • “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)
  • “Come near to God and He will come near to you.” (James 4:8)
• Pray: Be honest with God about your doubts. Ask Him to reveal areas where you’re struggling to trust and to give you the faith to move forward.
• Consult a Professional: If your doubts stem from your child’s behavior, consider consulting a therapist, doctor, or educator. If your doubts are more about your ability to parent, you may want to find a therapist, coach, or spiritual director. This may help put some doubts to rest or provide more clarity on next steps. They can offer tools and strategies to help you navigate challenging situations or make an appropriate referral, if needed.

Questions to ponder:

Take time to sit with these questions and explore your uncertainties.

What ways may doubt be present in your parenting? How might doubt be weakening your faith or creating distance in your relationships?

What doubts about parenting or God have come to mind as you read this? Do you have any recurring doubts?

Do you find yourself doubting yourself more, or doubting God’s role and promises?

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