One of the things that I have found so valuable about the Enneagram was seeing how each type reflected different aspects of God (more about this in a future blog). This helped me to see the goodness of all nine types and not to value one type over another. Personally, as I leaned into the way God created me as a Type 3 and was able to “own” those traits and not try to diminish them, my perspective shifted. This process was actually what lead me to create Secure Pathways.
When our strengths or giftedness is over-emphasized or takes on too much importance, then that gift can become distorted and turn into a weakness or unhealthy trait. When we rely on our personality or talents and put those ahead of God, then our priorities are out-of-whack and over time can lead to difficulties in our work, relationships, or our internal processes.
Let me share a little more of how this worked for me. As a Type 3, I easily identified with the Achiever description but not necessarily with all of the aspects of a 3. I kind of dismissed the concept of shame (which is the emotional struggle for the Heart Triad in the Centers of Intelligence). I could see how I tried to gain significance through my performance and accomplishments and I really resonated with the core longing of wanting to be loved simply for who I am, apart from my achievements; but I didn’t recognize how shame was working against me, leaving me stuck.
As I looked at the desire for value and significance as a God-given trait and not just a selfish desire for recognition, I was able to see how seeking significance was an attribute of God. Throughout the Bible, it talks about glorifying God (bring glory to God, for the glory of God, for the display of His splendor). I was able to recognize the shame that I felt for wanting significance. Being able to recognize that shame and give it to the Lord allowed me to take an honest look at what was important to me. If I looked for my significance from the Lord and how much He loves me—just for being me—because I am His child and made in His image, then I could more easily release my need for accomplishments and recognition from others. When I was in right relationship with the Lord, then I could better discern and desire to pursue His will and what that might look like in my life.
“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”
–Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking (1973)
Allowing myself to dream and to think about my experiences and passions, the ways God had equipped me, and where there was a need in our world has led me was to create this business. I have a deep gladness for improving family dynamics, for teaching the Enneagram, and for helping others strengthen their faith. Secure Pathways is where I hope to help other people improve their self-awareness and pursue their God-given abilities (by utilizing the tool of the Enneagram) and improve their connection and attachment with the Lord and with their children. God desires for children to feel safe and secure in their families. It allows children to more easily develop a trusting relationship with Him. This is accomplished by having loving and firm parents who support children to explore the world, engage with others in healthy relationships, share the love of Jesus with those around them, and to turn to the Lord for their security, protection, guidance, and hope.
Question to ponder:
What makes you deeply glad?
