Last week we talked about the importance of play and exploration. Let’s look at how our Enneagram (personality) types might impact our ability to best support their children to engage their environment. I am going to give two examples for each Enneagram type of potential strengths of parents in fostering exploration in their children.
Children who feel supported and secure in their parents’ love are able to go out into the world, play, and explore. Children are able to be curious and have the confidence to engage their environment when they feel calm, know they are loved, and know their parents will be there for them when they need them. The term in the attachment world that is used for these parents is “secure base.” When parents are a secure base from which children can launch, kids can go out and engage with other people, try out new things, use their imagination, and develop competence and independence.
Part of being a secure base is making sure that the environment is not dangerous. In order to ensure safety, parents have to be aware of what is going on in the environment. This implies that parents are present or have assessed a situation before letting their child or teen be in that environment. Letting children explore requires something from the parents. It is not simply letting your child walk out the door and do whatever they want unsupervised. Of course, for younger kids, much more direct supervision is needed. There are times that parents will not be present once they send their children out to explore because there are other adults that will watch over them or the kids are old enough to be able to explore or do the activity on their own. For example, think of kids going to school all day or teenagers working at a part-time job.
Type | Strengths in Fostering Children’s Engagement with Their Environment and Being Attuned to Your Children’s Exploration |
1 | They are great at structure and organization and can create parameters during play or exploration that makes life feel predictable They are present-focused and may be good with in-the-moment interactions with their children and paying attention to what they are doing right now. |
2 | They like to help meet others’ needs, so they may be quick to help their children when they need it during play or exploration. Prioritizing relationships is very important to them, so they are likely to make time to engage with or play with their children. |
3 | They would be very comfortable promoting and supporting achievement. Because they are adaptable, they can teach their children how to be adaptable to get along with peers and fit in with other children. |
4 | They can help their children express themselves to the world without putting pressure on them to conform to what others may think or prefer. They are individualists and would be able to encourage their children to explore their own interests. |
5 | They would be able to fully support their children’s curiosity and acquisition of knowledge. They would be fine, or maybe even pleased, with their child being independent and developing competence. |
6 | They will think through all the possibilities and be prepared and ready to explore. Serving those who are in their inner circle, they may want to spend time with their children while they are exploring. |
7 | They are joyful and enthusiastic and will likely convey their delight to do fun things with their kids. Always eager to enjoy new adventures, it would be easy to pull the kids into trying new things. |
8 | They are confident about making things happen and would want their children to have fun and conquer the world. Independence and autonomy are hallmarks of type 8s and they would easily support their children in developing this. |
9 | They are able to follow well and may easily accommodate kids’ interests or preferences. They may enjoy their children needing them to watch over and engage with them because they want to feel noticed and important. |
All parents have strengths that can be beneficial for helping children explore and play and learn. Reflect on how your personality can be an asset in being attentive to your child when they are exploring or playing.
Questions to ponder:
What strengths do you bring to helping your child engage with their world?
How does your Enneagram type serve you well when it comes to fostering exploration?
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